Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Yesterday was a wonderful day. My Kiddo had a wonderful birthday with his cousins and girlfriend. hahah not a girlfriend at 3 years old per Se but a friend's daughter.

Sigh.. I can smile and I survived. It is six months now.. and we are still living. Thank you God for watching me and my family.

Today I am working as I have to meet a deadline. I miss my kids but it is going to be like this for the rest of their lives and my life. There will be times I can spend all day with them and days that they do not see me at all.

Tomorrow I know I will have them to myself all day long. So I hope it will be good.
In the future I hope to be a better mother to them. I hope that they will have a bright future and have a lot of laughs along the way.

Peace to the World.

I love you all around the world..

My dear Kiddo

Congratulations for reaching the very first milestone of your life..
Happy 3rd Birthday. I hope you have many more and maybe one day I will be able to dance with you on your wedding day.. hmmmm would that not be the best..

I hope you grow to be a wonderful, dependable and caring man one day.

The biggest challenge

The challenges I had in my life were numerous.

I come from a very average family. We had food on the table. We had the hand me down clothes. To aspire for a change in life meant I needed to work harder than I ever did.
So I did.
I worked hard at school for 5 years to get myself eligible for a scholarship.
I faced failure after failure to get a decent grade to be able to continue for a degree.
I worked hard to get my postgraduate scholarships.
Went through so much downs and still I stood up again to just finish what I started.

I stand here now thinking if I did all that why is it so hard to do this one thing.

To forgive the unforgivable. My insides are all in pain. I want to set myself free. I want to forgive. I want to move on.

Lord God in all my travels and adventure I never stopped talking to you. Today more than any other time I implore you to help me forgive.

Being a Mummy

As I was growing up I always thought I would make my children call me Mama. Why? Because it is Posh don't u know (with an Posh English accent). Ya right. I settled for Mummy instead. It is sweet, simple and it melts my heart everytime.

Being a Mother is soo much fun but it is also filled with responsibilities. I can not remember the day I stopped worrying for even a second about my babies.. (they are now toddlers but they will always be my babies) I can not stop thinking and rethinking decisions. I have been asking around and thinking of My Kiddo's schooling since he was born.

Today I decided something very life changing. I will give up the branded things, the clothes, the expensive facial care line, the luxurious lifestyle and the dream home.. this will be all for my babies.. Instead I will give them the best schooling I can give them, the best food, clothe them well and the best Mami they can ever have... My heart is strong.. my heart is great.. and it is all for my babies and I offer them to the Lord God.

In the hope that they become pious, good, useful, responsible, learned citizens in the future.

A wonderful day!

Today My Baby is a year and a month old.

He has started drinking formula milk again. Yahoooooooooo!.. I do not know if any mothers out there would be happy to wake up twice in the middle of the night and wee hours of the morn to make 8 ounces of milk for their son instead of just breastfeeding... but I was.. I would do it everyday if he wanted it.. compared to endless night feeding which did not satisfy his hunger.. two feeding in less than 2 secs each.. he is such a big eater.. I can't help it.. he is the most wonderful baby.. Love you baby.. forever.. aah.. no more worries from me.. and I will so miss breastfeeding you.. those round big eyes looking at me.. your smile peeking cheekily.. hmmm.. Love you soo much.. I will never forget that.. so mixed is this feeling...

And My Kiddo.. you have grown sooo much already.. sooo sweet your smiles.. sooo gentle your ways.. sigh..

I have made the right decision.. I am well..

I hold keys

In my palms
I hold keys
In my arms
I hold my peace

In my heart of hearts
I hold my prayers
In my thoughts
So full of layers

I was told, once
I am the navigator of my ship
My heart dense
with fear holding a grip

I persevere for I know there
will be more of this ease
the day it was fair
and I felt some peace