Thursday, May 1, 2008

Why do good girls choose bad boys?

I know this happens a lot. My friends have all fallen into this. A shame. It usually ends with a lot of pain.

I will highlight a few words from a webpage I found which was very religious but touches the heart of "why good girls go with bad boys?".

Everything I have taken out has been directly copied and pasted from the weblink above. So please read the full text.

Definition of a bad boy

"A bad boy is a man who seems outwardly attractive, but is unwilling to offer sacrificial love in a relationship. He is too immature and preoccupied with himself to share genuine compassion, concern, or acceptance. A bad boy lacks character and might exhibit the following behavior: lying, aloofness, irresponsible dreaming, fear of commitment, sexual promiscuity, addiction to substances or pornography, selfishness, hunger for power, disinterest in surrendering to God, etc.

In addition, a bad boy is not interested in true love, because real love requires consistent sacrifice. A bad boy will only sacrifice for someone if it’s convenient for him or if he gets something in return. He expects the woman to do most of the giving, while he ignores her needs or takes advantage of her. "

I definitely agree with the definition above. So ladies wise up. Sending this word out to those really young hearted teenage girls. You are more precious than you realize. Turn your back to that bad boy and choose the Good Man.

The weblink said there are three common reasons why these good girls choose these bad boys

Reason #1 – He can be fixed. - "A nice girl may view a bad boy as a “project” or someone whom she can help “fix”." Sorry but do not even go there. If God gave these boys a chance to choose their life, why would you think they will change for you. Even God will take years to persuade them to change. :) If any of you out there are doing this now. Let go before you destroy yourself.

Reason #2 – He pursued me. - "Dating a guy with poor character, even if he pursues you, will still equal a poor relationship." I like this one. Been there done that. Left all those boys. Wink wink.

Reason #3 – He’s so exciting. - "Bad boys may be fun, but the party never lasts. Vain pleasure always wears off over time." Once you cease to entertain them or to be of use to them. They soon move on to "indulge their selfish heart".

Do yourself a favour break the bad boy cycle.
  • Love yourself fully REMEMBER you deserve the best, which translates to you do not deserve to be sacrificed for another persons happiness.
  • Understand yourself (your strengths and weaknesses).
  • You need to take the time to discern that man’s character before you give him your heart.
  • You must be willing to walk away from a man who is unwilling to sacrifice for your needs.
Be patient the good guys are out there.
How to spot a good guy? First you have to be honest about yourself. If you pretend you will attract pretenders. Actually developing yourself (emotionally, educationally and financially) is the best move to finding the right guy. Secondly set up a realistic criteria. Something substantial which will allow you to have a safe, secure and proper home (no broken families). Thirdly, a marriage is a partnership to bring up children. So find someone who is willing to be working as a team with you. Bringing up yourself is already a big job.

My personal confession
I married a bad boy. I have said I am not perfect you know. But respect me. He does not get any sacrifices from me. :) I love myself too much and I know what I deserve. Why did I not spot him. I have known all these information above years and years ago. I have been in that cycle and knew I was on my way out. I think I lacked the patience although I knew he was a bad one. My biological clock was ticking. I went into this marriage with my two eyes wide open. I knew I would not try to fix him or even wish him to change. I do not worry about being pursued by him or not. I can stand on my own. I can get myself excited anytime. :) I am no victim. All that I have done I vowed never to regret. This is life, I will survive it.

However I can not deny the presence of The Pain yet I knew I would be strong enough to handle it. My Kiddo and My Baby are worth the gamble. My life is perfect. :) MOH you can stay stupid and be a bad boy all your life. I am good. I have the will to turn my back on you. Choice is yours to fix yourself. A good life with me lies in front of you. God is always merciful and will always be there to help you change if you just choose to.

To all ladies and teenage girls. Self maintenance and self reliance are the mainstays of a strong character. Be strong. We are women after all.

2 comments:

Kampung Girl said...

You're a strong woman Rach! I believe in trying to save a relationship/marriage no matter how rocky it could be but patience has its' only limits...and i give it to you for keep on trying. I hope your MOH will grow up and realise what he could/would be missing before it's way too late.

Talk to you soon dear! Take it easy..u have a baby inside of u.

Doc Rogue said...

Thanks Mae. I feel the love you all have for me. :) I think My Baby is the reason I feel strong. All my decisions now is how to make sure that this one comes out to a sorted world. I think that this baby growing in me now will grow up to be a person who takes no shit from no one. :) It really gives me a lot of strength.

I am like a bird - Eagle.. woo hoo..

Your Power Bird is an Eagle
You are spiritual and able to soar to great heights.
You are a true inspiration, and many people look to you for guidance.
And you are quite demanding in relationships... but you're worth it.
People know that you will become even greater than you imagine.

The Keys to Your Life - Shite! truth reverberates.

The Keys to Your Life
Anything good in your life comes from you having the strength to make good decisions.

You know how to assess a situation before you leap into action.

Anything bad in your life comes from fooling yourself or clinging to illusions.

Be strong enough to see the world clearly. Learn from your mistakes.

My Shoe Type - Oh I am common... :)

You Are Sneakers
You are creative, funky, and forward thinking.
You are cool, but you are still approachable.

You are stylish and edgy, but you aren't a slave to fashion.
You tend to put your own spin on trends.

You tend to have a fast paced, busy lifestyle.
Not a lot of people can keep up with you!

You should live: Near nature

You should work: In a job that keeps you on the go

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz - Who would have guessed

You Are Bert
Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you lovable - even if you don't love them!

You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you

You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil

How you live your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others