Thursday, June 12, 2008

How did they find a Gem of a Guy?

This blog is not a reference point to give a tried and true method of finding a Gem of a Guy but just a sharing of experience. I have talked to a few friends who had good solid marriages and I summarised what I learned from them in this blog. I wrote it as a continuation to my last blog on why do good girls choose bad boys?

Every time I met a friend who had a very steady and good husband I never failed to ask them how they found these guys.

The first thing they always say is that they never liked their present husbands initially and that they had other choices whom they preferred more. However their present husbands did not give up pursuing them for months or years. These men did not stop showing them how much they were cared for. These men came to visit the family and genuinely tried to show how they appreciate them in front of their families and friends. These men were not self centered. These men would try and know your likes and dislikes. Eventually the genuine care was evident. The bad boys would not be able to hold up against any genuine man because of time and effortlessness. Time will tell the true colours of anyone. Effortlessness comes from a sincere person, a person who loves you truly does not feel that it is an effort to be of service to you, be part of your life or give you attention.

My friends found that the men they would have initially cross out of their list became the main man of their life. I see happiness and harmony in their marriage. I see them having that companion and partner in facing the hardships of life. I see them feeling loved and secure. However one must remember that if one wants a good man one must be a good woman as well.

Take time to discern a person's character. Don't fall in love too quickly. Don't eliminate people just because you think they are not initially attractive to you. Learn to discern between short term efforts and long term efforts.


Anonymous said...

someone ever told me " Marry someone who loves you more than you love him" I think I did just that..haha.. I almost got married to a bad boy but lucky that he honestly told me he will never change and true enough he never changes..

apr said...

right, chel.. NOW u tell us. where was this post 6 months ago??

Doc Rogue said...

Hmmm darling Apr.. this post was under construction. Ha ha ha ha... by the way.. some people find it hard to stay away from that Bad Boy.. I tried to advice a friend recently about this same topic.. hmmm she is still confused...

I think we lie in the category of "I know he is a bad boy but i can't go away from him.." KIMMET!!!

Doc Rogue said...

Dear Anon.. my bad boy lied to me.. mislead me etc.. however I am partly to blame for my mistake.. :) However I have no regrets.. This is the bed I made for myself to sleep in. Suffering yeah.. but I am a survivor...
I am really really happy that you married the right man. Something I keep on wishing I had done or will do in the future.. hahahha *wink *wink

maizura said...

Hi Rach,

Take good care of yourself and the children. They are the reason for you to go on with life and to face the day w/out fear. I know you are one tough lady (& hotmama too hehe) and that you will always be. Hardship will come with a reward in the end. Hope good things will come your way, if not now, in the near future. :)

apr said...

LOL. we got ourselves into this. let's just try n make the most of it then.

Sivakumar said...

Rach, Maybe it's because people don't realise that having two words - boyfriend and husband, actually mean that they have different functions :). The Evil one

Deana E said...

Hi's your CD collection and your pregnancy?know the gender already? don't worry, concentrate on your baby, there will be light at the end of the tunnel later on..seen few friends with almost the same strong !

Doc Rogue said...

Ha ha ha ha Siva I agree with you. Men do not know that. Or try to pull the wool over their own eyes..

Mai Thanks:)

Deana I like the CDs that I got. I will get some more for my next son. After two months.

I am like a bird - Eagle.. woo hoo..

Your Power Bird is an Eagle
You are spiritual and able to soar to great heights.
You are a true inspiration, and many people look to you for guidance.
And you are quite demanding in relationships... but you're worth it.
People know that you will become even greater than you imagine.

The Keys to Your Life - Shite! truth reverberates.

The Keys to Your Life
Anything good in your life comes from you having the strength to make good decisions.

You know how to assess a situation before you leap into action.

Anything bad in your life comes from fooling yourself or clinging to illusions.

Be strong enough to see the world clearly. Learn from your mistakes.

My Shoe Type - Oh I am common... :)

You Are Sneakers
You are creative, funky, and forward thinking.
You are cool, but you are still approachable.

You are stylish and edgy, but you aren't a slave to fashion.
You tend to put your own spin on trends.

You tend to have a fast paced, busy lifestyle.
Not a lot of people can keep up with you!

You should live: Near nature

You should work: In a job that keeps you on the go

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz - Who would have guessed

You Are Bert
Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you lovable - even if you don't love them!

You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you

You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil

How you live your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others