Friday, March 27, 2009

My west coast side story

MARIA
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.

I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.

See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!

GIRLS
Have you met my good friend Maria,
The craziest girl on the block?
You'll know her the minute you see her,
She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock.

She thinks she's in love.
She thinks she's in Spain.
She isn't in love,
She's merely insane.

It must be the heat
Or some rare disease,
Or too much to eat
Or maybe it's fleas.

Keep away from her,
Send for Chino!
This is not the
Maria we know!

Modest and pure,
Polite and refined,
Well-bred and mature
And out of her mind!

MARIA
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty
That the city should give me its key.
A committee
Should be organized to honor me.

GIRLS
La la la la . . .

MARIA
I feel dizzy,
I feel sunny,
I feel fizzy and funny and fine,
And so pretty,
Miss America can just resign!

GIRLS
La la la la . . .

MARIA
See the pretty girl in that mirror there:

GIRLS
What mirror where?

MARIA
Who can that attractive girl be?

GIRLS
Which? What? Where? Whom?

MARIA
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

GIRLS
Such a pretty me!

ALL
I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!


I put the lyrics down not because I am in love but I lost my temper this morning. And Rob (are u reading this?) you always tell me to sing this song.. hahahah.. The last time I lost my temper,.. really lost my temper was that time. I think I need friends like you around.. Fish and Chips???

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

When a Young Mother Dies

Please read the article on http://www.newsweek.com/id/190782?GT1=43002

It is scary.. It makes me think...

Freaky numerology information

This is what I got from these online numerology readings...

"Compared to the other numbers, you excel at letting go of lovers or opportunities simply because you know you can't take emotions and material goods with you when you die."

It rings very true.. I keep saying to MOH that when we die.. we leave the world just like that.. without wealth, without sickness, without heartache, without our diamonds, without our politics etc.

The one thing which is important is that we leave our loved ones in a good way.

When my time comes, I hope that people I love knows that I love them and that I want them to LIVE their life to the fullest. Achieve the most love and be their happiest.

Love, laugh and live.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Time waster

By the way. I thought the meeting today was a time waster. Ahem.. it was a very useful and good meeting. Ha ha ha ha.. Imagine.. luckily I did not skip it. Sigh.. Saved by an Angel again.

Jumping off a cliff...

I really respect those people who bungee jump, skydive or jump off a cliff into a water fall.

Man.. don't they know they can never grow their wings on the way down? :)

MJM just cheered me up. A very big thank you.

I have gotten married to a Man, I knew would break my heart, would be no good to me and my kids. Give me a lot of headache and heartache. I still married him. All my predictions have come true. All my hopes have not been fulfilled. I am optimistic. My hopes will come true. I just have to be patient. God hears everything. He is just testing me and letting me know my true ability. That is not just what I keep on telling myself. It is like my Mantra. What else could a person do? I believe in prayers. I believe there is a God. However life is not easy. I do not think anyone has an easy life. Even the brother of the Sultan of Brunei has to pay for his mismanagement of funds. Everyone has to be responsible otherwise they will be haunted with a terrible life.. I believe this is true.

So everyday I try to be as responsible as I can.
I make sure the food does not run out in my house.
I make sure the bills are all paid.
I make sure my kids have enough clothes, food, milk, diapers and toys.
I make sure they have a good carer cum house help.
I make sure my car is well serviced.
I make sure I pray everyday.
I make sure my friends don't loose touch with me.
I make sure I can remember their birthdays (this one I am still working on.. very very hard).
I make sure my mom knows I love her.
I make sure that my sisters are emotionally supported.
I make sure my students get the information correct and the right understanding.
I make sure all my paperwork are done.
I make sure all my deadlines are met.

Geez... I am a boring person. Oh yeah the other thing that I need to make sure is that I am well taken care off. I have to make sure I am happy. I have to make sure that I love myself enough. :)

So is jumping off a cliff a responsible thing to do? hmmm no.. don't do it unless you have no responsibilities at all. I wish I did it when I was single, still one can not say I never did it. I think my version of jumping off a cliff is getting married to my husband...

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Ridoxolitolamatini....

Whatever!!??!!. I am in the mood to just rebel. I just had a very very tough few weeks. I do not think it will end. Tomorrow there is a meeting I have to chair. The next day another meeting to show my face in. A meeting which I think is just another time waster. Sigh... somethings about my job I love... the others I hate.. I have not blogged for ages because I have not had time and I wanted to focus on work. However I agree with nekad climatologist. He uses blogging as therapy. LOL. I mean. Who sincerely can say they do not use blogs as a therapy session. Shrinks must be really feeling the pinch this cycle of recession. The boom of internet blogging which did not exist ten years ago. Amazing.

You know in three years of marriage I have had grounds for a divorce, repeatedly thought of it. But today I can not. I keep on seeing grounds for keeping the marriage. How is that possible. Is it not the path of the broken hearted to rage and to leave and lead another life? I thought of that. I would advice myself to do just that. It is not like I am a coward and do not want to join the 70% of divorcees. Nah.. I am not like that... I just do not see the point. Why do you need to divorce? Why did you work so hard to be with someone who gets you just to fight tooth and nail to leave the same person.. just because he grew to be not getting you at all?.. IT IS RIDICULOUS... nah.. I choose to just lead a peaceful life.. take it or leave it.. follow my own gut feeling of how to live.. LOVE, LAUGH AND LIVE.. so simple...

Life is hard enough without us trying to make it complicated. sigh.. But I will be making my life complicated soon. ARGGHHH... it is not that I do not like to do research but I feel guilty that I will have to sacrifice time with my kids.. This is what I am most angry about today. I can not finish all my work in one day and then also progress in research. My kids are at home waiting eagerly for me to come home and I feel bad. But if I dont do my work.. I feel bad... there is no way out of this.. I have to choose... SOO SAKIT HATI (so painful my liver.. ROFL that's the direct translation). Which way to go. I don't want to use my children as excuse but I do not also want to make them lose time with me.. uwaa.. well I better go home and try and spend time with them.

by the way I went to Tambunan on a job with my Hubby as my driver and my babies as navigator (like real). It was fun..

Check out these tiles.. Perkasa hotel Tenom a blast from the past...


And guess what we tried stopping by the Taman in Tenom but it was closed on monday


see this can really get me drunk and forget about all my problems.. eh?


Tenom is really not that backward.. it has a seven E


Look at me and My Baby... I don't want him to ever grow up.


Ridoxolitolamatini.... by the way if anyone is curious about what this means.. hmm I created it.. and it means I am angry, frustrated, tired, miss having martini and awfully lots of fun with my mates.. LOL.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Lovely memories to last a lifetime

My two archangels.. :) Michael and Raphael


These are my babies communicating with each other.. aaah... finally no screaming from My kiddo

Being Envied

Is it normal in our society to be envied?
Is it good to be envied?
Envy strikes such a negative response from our culture. Does it not? I think everything has a good and bad side to it. Even envy. I do not think I need to state the negative side of envy here. I think you all know what that is. However the good side of envy, that is if it is taken positively would actually benefit the person who envies and is envied.

Firstly, when I envy someone, I aspire to have what they have. I start wishing I was in their shoes from the limited perspective given to us by their stories or other resources (hahah usually gossip). However we really do not know what their life is like. We can not start to comprehend the problems they face, the challenges they strive through, the battles they fight, the sacrifices they make or the choices they had to make.

Usually after wishing for their life I will go through a chain of thoughts which will include asking myself if I really understood the sacrifices or the hard work they had to put into to get to where they were. For example Daphne Iking. She is sooo beautiful, gifted and fun. I wish I had her life. It is so glamorous and exciting. However would I be able to handle the public scrutiny she experiences. She is always worried about her weight (Pon if you ever read this.. no offense I respect you greatly for everything you are doing, you are an Icon an example that we loud mouthed Sabahan girls have a place in the world, hahaha). I do too but I do NOT have to deal with people who will tell me right off that I am too fat for public eye.. I think that is the hardest thing to put up. RESPECT.

My next example is Doc Beautiful (yeah I do envy a lot of people as well) hahahah... but I do drag myself down to earth and try to realize the real story of their life. Okay this Doc Beautiful is down right beautiful, furthermore she is soo intelligent, furthermore she is soo good at management, furthermore she is so very good at what she does, furthermore she has a very SUPPORTIVE, UNDERSTANDING, MATURED MAN for a husband. I greatly lack this due to my own POOR choice.. hahahah.. (but I love my FAULTfull man/boy/angst teenager.. me shaking my head.. "Sometimes you can not choose who you love" therefore you have to sacrifice a lot more than you can, hmmm to keep a marriage...).. To me Doc Beautiful is perfect. She has the perfect life, the perfect career, the perfect friends, the perfect children, the perfect everything. However I know she has made choices which were difficult to make. I know she works DAMN hard. I know she had made a lot of sacrifices too.

Kudos to these great woman. Apart from Mother Theresa, Princess D, Margaret Thatcher, Hillary Clinton, Condelezza Rice, my Mami, the Mrs Moosoms.. the list is actually long.. . These are my heroes. None of them had an easy life. None of them had easy choices. None of them had not sacrificed. None of them tried to run away from hard work.

What I am trying to say here is that the package is set. Nothing is perfect. It is what you choose to do to maintain your own sanity and to keep on making the right choices for your own good and those you love. The fight is long and hard. But is you are willing to choose the hard way.. the REWARDS are great. Chegu.. I know your choices.. I look up to you and respect you in many ways.. I envy you toooo u know..

My life is hard. I have been married since the 22nd of March 2009, for three years. My GOD I have gone through hell and back and hell again. I pray to God that I never have to go through that again. Sometimes I wish I did not love my husband at all. Sometimes I ask myself why I am still with him after all the shit he put me through. I do not know. I really do not know why... why am I still here. But looking at the pictures and how Carol reacted. I guess it is worth it. To have my family safe and peaceful. To keep the love true, to keep the heartache away from making me insane. Everything I do, I do in respect to God. For what he has given me yesterday and today. I give thanks to him.

To those who does not understand, when strife comes make sure God is beside you and that you love yourself enough to believe he will stick beside you.

I am like a bird - Eagle.. woo hoo..

Your Power Bird is an Eagle
You are spiritual and able to soar to great heights.
You are a true inspiration, and many people look to you for guidance.
And you are quite demanding in relationships... but you're worth it.
People know that you will become even greater than you imagine.

The Keys to Your Life - Shite! truth reverberates.

The Keys to Your Life
Anything good in your life comes from you having the strength to make good decisions.

You know how to assess a situation before you leap into action.

Anything bad in your life comes from fooling yourself or clinging to illusions.

Be strong enough to see the world clearly. Learn from your mistakes.

My Shoe Type - Oh I am common... :)

You Are Sneakers
You are creative, funky, and forward thinking.
You are cool, but you are still approachable.

You are stylish and edgy, but you aren't a slave to fashion.
You tend to put your own spin on trends.

You tend to have a fast paced, busy lifestyle.
Not a lot of people can keep up with you!

You should live: Near nature

You should work: In a job that keeps you on the go

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz - Who would have guessed

You Are Bert
Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you lovable - even if you don't love them!

You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you

You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil

How you live your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others