Monday, March 9, 2009

Being Envied

Is it normal in our society to be envied?
Is it good to be envied?
Envy strikes such a negative response from our culture. Does it not? I think everything has a good and bad side to it. Even envy. I do not think I need to state the negative side of envy here. I think you all know what that is. However the good side of envy, that is if it is taken positively would actually benefit the person who envies and is envied.

Firstly, when I envy someone, I aspire to have what they have. I start wishing I was in their shoes from the limited perspective given to us by their stories or other resources (hahah usually gossip). However we really do not know what their life is like. We can not start to comprehend the problems they face, the challenges they strive through, the battles they fight, the sacrifices they make or the choices they had to make.

Usually after wishing for their life I will go through a chain of thoughts which will include asking myself if I really understood the sacrifices or the hard work they had to put into to get to where they were. For example Daphne Iking. She is sooo beautiful, gifted and fun. I wish I had her life. It is so glamorous and exciting. However would I be able to handle the public scrutiny she experiences. She is always worried about her weight (Pon if you ever read this.. no offense I respect you greatly for everything you are doing, you are an Icon an example that we loud mouthed Sabahan girls have a place in the world, hahaha). I do too but I do NOT have to deal with people who will tell me right off that I am too fat for public eye.. I think that is the hardest thing to put up. RESPECT.

My next example is Doc Beautiful (yeah I do envy a lot of people as well) hahahah... but I do drag myself down to earth and try to realize the real story of their life. Okay this Doc Beautiful is down right beautiful, furthermore she is soo intelligent, furthermore she is soo good at management, furthermore she is so very good at what she does, furthermore she has a very SUPPORTIVE, UNDERSTANDING, MATURED MAN for a husband. I greatly lack this due to my own POOR choice.. hahahah.. (but I love my FAULTfull man/boy/angst teenager.. me shaking my head.. "Sometimes you can not choose who you love" therefore you have to sacrifice a lot more than you can, hmmm to keep a marriage...).. To me Doc Beautiful is perfect. She has the perfect life, the perfect career, the perfect friends, the perfect children, the perfect everything. However I know she has made choices which were difficult to make. I know she works DAMN hard. I know she had made a lot of sacrifices too.

Kudos to these great woman. Apart from Mother Theresa, Princess D, Margaret Thatcher, Hillary Clinton, Condelezza Rice, my Mami, the Mrs Moosoms.. the list is actually long.. . These are my heroes. None of them had an easy life. None of them had easy choices. None of them had not sacrificed. None of them tried to run away from hard work.

What I am trying to say here is that the package is set. Nothing is perfect. It is what you choose to do to maintain your own sanity and to keep on making the right choices for your own good and those you love. The fight is long and hard. But is you are willing to choose the hard way.. the REWARDS are great. Chegu.. I know your choices.. I look up to you and respect you in many ways.. I envy you toooo u know..

My life is hard. I have been married since the 22nd of March 2009, for three years. My GOD I have gone through hell and back and hell again. I pray to God that I never have to go through that again. Sometimes I wish I did not love my husband at all. Sometimes I ask myself why I am still with him after all the shit he put me through. I do not know. I really do not know why... why am I still here. But looking at the pictures and how Carol reacted. I guess it is worth it. To have my family safe and peaceful. To keep the love true, to keep the heartache away from making me insane. Everything I do, I do in respect to God. For what he has given me yesterday and today. I give thanks to him.

To those who does not understand, when strife comes make sure God is beside you and that you love yourself enough to believe he will stick beside you.


munimiji said...

Hi Rachel, I bumped into yr blog. I'm very touched with your sharing. I'm very proud of you that how you can relate your trials and had continuously put yr faith in God. You are a very strong woman and a loving mother which your children are very lucky to have you.
Sometimes love make us do the impossible things.
Keep strong and without rain, we won't see the rainbow.


Doc Rogue said...

Dear Muni, I thank you.

I LOVE YOU said...


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I am like a bird - Eagle.. woo hoo..

Your Power Bird is an Eagle
You are spiritual and able to soar to great heights.
You are a true inspiration, and many people look to you for guidance.
And you are quite demanding in relationships... but you're worth it.
People know that you will become even greater than you imagine.

The Keys to Your Life - Shite! truth reverberates.

The Keys to Your Life
Anything good in your life comes from you having the strength to make good decisions.

You know how to assess a situation before you leap into action.

Anything bad in your life comes from fooling yourself or clinging to illusions.

Be strong enough to see the world clearly. Learn from your mistakes.

My Shoe Type - Oh I am common... :)

You Are Sneakers
You are creative, funky, and forward thinking.
You are cool, but you are still approachable.

You are stylish and edgy, but you aren't a slave to fashion.
You tend to put your own spin on trends.

You tend to have a fast paced, busy lifestyle.
Not a lot of people can keep up with you!

You should live: Near nature

You should work: In a job that keeps you on the go

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz - Who would have guessed

You Are Bert
Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you lovable - even if you don't love them!

You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you

You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil

How you live your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others