Friday, June 26, 2009

I hold keys

In my palms
I hold keys
In my arms
I hold my peace

In my heart of hearts
I hold my prayers
In my thoughts
So full of layers

I was told, once
I am the navigator of my ship
My heart dense
with fear holding a grip

I persevere for I know there
will be more of this ease
the day it was fair
and I felt some peace

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Resolve

Open my eyes
Crumbling walls and columns
The structure were recent
And the colours were decent

What happened here?
I shall sit and ponder
If my sons permit me this moment
I shall sit through this torment
Freeing drops of crystals
To heal the wounded hearts

When all the spent strength
When all the time spent
When all the fights went
It was not enough for that
Wounded heart

Fruits of my womb
Do not leave me numb
Lift this spirit of mine
A new tomorrow for thine

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Feeling like jello

It is a tender morning. Today is week 3 of my survival count-up. I was okay in the pass few days. What happened this morning? I do not know. I just feel very tender, panicky, scared, worried and sad. All these emotions for me and my children.

I pray to God for strength and calmness.

I need to release this control I have over this issue. I need to surrender to God, his Angels and Saints. They are all around me and they remind me so often that they appreciate my struggle and I need to let them help.

I need to appreciate myself. I have done some wrong things and some right things. But I can not be harsh on myself for the wrong things I do. I need to focus on the right things. I am on the right path. I want to have faith.

I am progressing steadily. I am moving forward. My proposal and my side income projects are there and I am working towards them.

I need to stop worrying. Worrying is like a magnet for negative things to happen to me and my family. I need to focus on the positives in my life.

3 weeks, I have done well.

I need to sing that "I feel pretty" song again. :)

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Metamorphosis

Today is two weeks.. Two weeks of what? I let you guess.

It is just sufficient to state that. I never thought I would have to do this. Make such changes in my life and my children's life. I have no choice.

In my mind's eye, I never imagined this picture. How can I live?...

I tell you what. I do it day to day, week by week, fortnightly by forthnightly.... soon it will be year by year and decades by decades.. By that time, I probably be glad I did this.

Pain and time. Time helps heal all pain. I hope that is true. The pain is unimaginable. The pain is great. I pray for peace and calmness in my soul, Joy and Happiness for my kids.

I can do this... I can take this role. I can metamorph into this... just give me time... I have to picture this clear in my head. I have to make this picture strong that I succeed and I triumph over adversity.

God give me the strength to change what I can change, give me patience, guidance, protection and love.

I am like a bird - Eagle.. woo hoo..

Your Power Bird is an Eagle
You are spiritual and able to soar to great heights.
You are a true inspiration, and many people look to you for guidance.
And you are quite demanding in relationships... but you're worth it.
People know that you will become even greater than you imagine.

The Keys to Your Life - Shite! truth reverberates.

The Keys to Your Life
Anything good in your life comes from you having the strength to make good decisions.

You know how to assess a situation before you leap into action.

Anything bad in your life comes from fooling yourself or clinging to illusions.

Be strong enough to see the world clearly. Learn from your mistakes.

My Shoe Type - Oh I am common... :)

You Are Sneakers
You are creative, funky, and forward thinking.
You are cool, but you are still approachable.

You are stylish and edgy, but you aren't a slave to fashion.
You tend to put your own spin on trends.

You tend to have a fast paced, busy lifestyle.
Not a lot of people can keep up with you!

You should live: Near nature

You should work: In a job that keeps you on the go

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz - Who would have guessed

You Are Bert
Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you lovable - even if you don't love them!

You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you

You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil

How you live your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others